*Warning: this is not an attack on a particular person but rather an assault on them through deconstruction of their personality I despise. As I’ve had my run in with more than a dozen of these kinds now over the last decade. It’s important to note as you read this my eyes are looking in many directions at the same time and for large part looking through another’s eyes too.
They’re prickly, sensitive, insecure, passive aggressive and hypersensitive to criticism. They forever procrastinate, always watching, and talking, about others, and you, instead of doing anything themselves with their own life, except disregarding others. They’re a bit pointless, pathetic, and meaningless. And they must know this too. For they rely on you in order to have any sort of significant relevance to their own life. Easily stressed, as they are chronically envious of you and suffer from anxiety and depression. Which, of course, is all of their own making.
And so, they deserve their depression.
We all need someone who hates us like this. Someone for whom we, for whatever reasons, inspire great inferiority. Someone who wants to talk about us when we are not around. Well, we don’t need that, but it comes with the deal. Someone who wants to laugh about us behind our backs. Someone who loves themselves and loves to think they are better than, who? Everyone in the entire world.
This, of course, is our covert narcissist. We all need someone like that, don’t we? Do we? Why? Well, healthy competition is a great motivator. To stand up and fight back against our enemy, the extreme egotist. And many times, that’s us.
But it’s also the one who thinks they are more special, more important than the rest of us. However, we will not retort to physical violence. We’ll choose a different form of fighting: continuing being better than them in every facet of living, self improvement with an improved mind and much, much happier life.
We will choose, instead, not to react with aggression, even though they make us angry, with their incompetence and how much of it they lack, and take our frustration out on channeling our energy into something of far greater and much higher productive value: ourselves.
Let’s use them the same way they aspired to use us, as a means for inspiring our greater growth.
This is a deadly, powerful, highly dangerous skill to possess. Yet, a skill nonetheless. Why on Earth would you want to possess it? That is easy: the art of self defence and the ability to indirectly manipulate others with their own power. To become the mirror which reflects more of what causes this inferiority. That is something they cannot tolerate and wish to bring you down in hope to see you won’t continue to succeed in always surpassing them. So if someone wishes to wound you, this will equip you to not only puncture their armour, but take them down. In the process of doing so, we will annihilate their ego once and for all for daring to step on you.
In this process those who stand in our way, as Marcus Aurelius said, become our way. People who are hindrances in our lives will only further our cause, if we choose to respond in the right way to the situation. Control your emotions. Never let anger get the best of you. Never do anything stupid, or irreversible. Never react right away. Instead, act with the utmost courage.
Act with patience, discipline, resolve. Make what they did to you not only make you better but also bring them down lower for even trying.
And those who try to hold you back will only throw you further along the path. Setbacks are inevitable. They are also another way of saying progress. Negative experiences therefore, as much as we don’t want them, have inside them the hidden opportunity to increase our own self and abilities. Those who act from a sense of dishonesty and resentment towards you are actually acting out of a secret jealousy. But that’s their problem. For not being able to work on and solve their own. If they wish to continue living unhappily, that’s also their problem. Leave the organisation. Let them die unhappily too.
Never stay where people belittle you. Make your move and disappear into the wind. Keep your eyes on the page and your ears from the crowd. Keep your mind and attention focused on your own strengths and qualities, which is, being a better person and the ever increasing improvement of your own mind, self and life.
The force we are going to learn here does not include physical, but it does involve psychological, in order to manipulate manipulative people and deter them away from you. You might have people say things like, this is all nonsense. There are no such games people play. Be careful if you hear someone say that. As they are usually the greatest players of the game.
We will not win through physical battle, or even emotional arguing, because they thrive in that. But something of a different kind: never ending silence and accomplishments.
This is about achieving a better quality of living with your own life as a way to stir the waters and cause more resentment in their lives, as the way. They may go on to continue self loathing and pity themselves as being the victim in their own drama all in order to keep up external appearances, which is all a bit pointless since that only proves who is playing the game. The best tactic you could play is to remain hidden, otherwise your boss won’t be happy you’ve got him all twisted up and involved in this mess.
They won’t accept blame for the damage they cause. Because it’s never their fault. They are never to blame, for anything. They create their own turmoil then try getting you all rapped up in as well. They are venomous animals.
So this is a call to arms for anyone who has ever been bullied, picked on, made fun of, laughed at, called names, mocked, kicked, punched, spat on, or a victim of workspace narcissism.
This will show you how to get ahead and the real way the world works so to be able to trick those who try to deceive you.
IGNORE THESE LESSONS AT YOUR PERIL
Those who act and behave this way towards you are secretly hiding something underneath their surface, which is more often than not: a complete and total dissatisfaction with their own life. They are not willing to confront what lacks or causes them to resent you. Rather than do the work as to why they’re so desperate and depressed, much easier is to just watch you do all the right things, but make fun of your behind your back.
Or worse, try bringing you down as a way to get back at you for walking out of that office, leaving them cold and dry. And yet, it was never a choice. Those decisions get forced upon you. Nobody ever leaves for no reason.
Never forget that.
There is always a reason for leaving. But by the time they’re gone, that’s when it’s already too late.
EGO IS THE ENEMY: THE EMPATH STRIKES BACK
And the problem with ego is whenever it gets so out of control that somebody inflates their self importance to the point of total delusion, fabricating reality to the point of even giving themselves a title, such as boss. As if being a store clerk with two other people in a shed constitutes the boss of anything? It makes no sense. Because you also have a boss 🤦♂️
That cup needs to go in the bin 🗑️
Negative energy in itself then can be very helpful, when you know how to turn everything into your greater advantage. Anything that palpitates the heart can be used to increase your alertness, sharpen your wit and strengthen your resolve when confronted by hard and testing times.
Because you only have two options here:
1 Feel the weight of the world on your shoulders as the walls feel like they’re closing in and not being able to bare that weight any longer and therefore choose to collapse and give up.
Or, and this is the one I need you to take:
2 You take this negative experience and you flip it and turn it into a positive outcome, increase your strength, both physically and mentally, not only overcoming the obstacle but being further along than you otherwise would have been if it wasn’t for the obstacle.
That which tries to hinder one’s progress can only further advance its own cause. Anything that gets in its way, becomes its way. This is what is meant by: the obstacle is the way.
So you are going to come across assholes today. The best thing you can do each time is continue raising your own game by becoming a master of psychological warfare. Become a master psychologist. Keep placing yourself higher up the life ladder and you will always beat your opponents. Let adversity discipline you, never defeat you. Win through right actions and right behaviours. And let them continue to watch how you just keep on getting better and better no matter what. The best thing you can do is continue reflecting back your amazing qualities.
That’s what drives resentment.
When people get obsessed with you, there must be a reason why. And these are the reasons why: either you have what they don’t and they are jealous and want it. Or you can do what they can’t and they are envious of you because of this. Or, they just want to fuck you and want you to sit there next to them in their office all day so they can keep looking at you. Which is actually a bit sad and pathetic, when your boss of a company.
Let them continue to feel that emotion. Keep creating more resentment in their lives. Make them feel worse than they did. That’s how you win. Show them more of what they’re not. And show how much more you can still be.
When someone has nothing to at all to say we can easily assume they are no one, afraid or hiding behind their true self. My assumption however is that all of these are true.
WE ALL NEED THIS ENEMY
To inspire us, a cause for real radical change and action. Someone to stand up for, and against. To learn about and master these things in order that we may deter others away from us.
As Robert Greene said in The 33 Strategies of War, you must create a threatening presence.
Find your enemy and use them as your guidepost for greatness. Be inspired by their lack of an inner purpose and continue to create the best possible version of yourself own from them.
Win by doing what they are incapable of: being better at everything.
Never engage with gossip. Why?
Because that’s a telling sign of a person who has nothing going on in their life. They who always need somebody else around in order to feel they are someone, to talk to about others, all so they may feel some sort of relevance to their own existence, is a pointless existence.
SO
Who is it that makes your blood boil?
Who do you want to take great vengeance against and get revenge on, by bettering yourself?
Who inspires you with so much rage that you will punish yourself past the point of all previous bests?
Use these feelings as a source of inspiration, as a call to action. Take all that pain. Use it now for your own greater gain. Continue to surpass your past self. For that is always the best revenge.
Make you into a far greater model than you already were. That’s the reason why we need an enemy. We need someone who challenges us to the point of wanting to drive ourselves into better. And continuing this process of always becoming far more than we ever possibly were.
Unfortunately, for the covert narcissist, this will never happen. Which is great news for us. And perhaps, even luckily still, it only keeps on getting better and better. For us. They can’t see their flaws, the way we can in ourselves, and are therefore forever unable to identify with or improve their situation, which we seek out to do and do so each and every day of our life.
That’s stoicism baby.
And so, without that weapon behind their arsenal, they continue, getting worse and worse.
What a great game it is when you know you win the game.
Take a look around, at how much you have already accomplished. How much you have achieved as time has gone by. Let yourself see how much progress you have already made with yourself. And look at those who have not only not made any sort of progress with themselves in a decade, but they have even somehow found themselves less than they were a decade before.
Time has passed you by, yet time is all that has happened to you. You never took advantage of the opportunity when it was there. You choose endless distractions instead. Water cooler chit chit. All those hours, thousands of them, during that time in the office when you could have chosen to be far more productive. But, you never had a life to know what to do. You just sat there staring at me instead each day more interested in my own life outside of work. And so, you will never be what you probably could have been.
And therefore, you fail at life and living.
WELCOME TO PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE
*I used to work for a covert narcissist. So this story is inspired by life experiences working for these toxic types along with others who have experienced them along the way too. This song attached is a clue. Because I don’t want the wrong people making foolish assumptions that this is about them. This is about the slimy guy in the silly suit with the oily head and the beady eyes. The great narcissist of my time and life. And my new favourite enemy. Boy do I have a lot of stuff from 2019. Sure hope I never have to publish it. It’s only now that I’ve been able to pull all this from my Dropbox and weave pieces like this together as the result of being bullied. That’s why it’s so important you hold on to absolutely everything. Every word you ever hear said or written in a conversation. Record it. Keep copies of it. Forever. You wake up one day just knowing what to do with it all. Then they become terrified.
Those who are willing to work on their ego feel they have a problem with it. Hence that’s why I have all these books. But those who run away from it must therefore know they have a serious condition of mind that reading alone cannot cure. Or, they just want a more monstrous ego.
But fuck me, what good is a kitten with an attitude?
“If we can’t be friends, then at least let’s be enemies.” – 50 CENT.
50 Cent has Ja Rule. And thanks to you for inviting me to a pointless meeting, I now have you. But no one will ever know who. But you will. And that’s good enough for me to keep writing about narcissists. It can be hard to tell who it is about when there are just so many.
Again, that’s not my problem.
The real problem then is why are there so many?
This is the fight to master our greatest opponent. What this is calling for is for you to recognise yourself as your own worst enemy. Then do the hard part of asking, in a mirror, why am I such a fucking diaster? Why can’t I see how flawed and humanely fucked I am?
That may be a very hard problem to solve. It might even be unsolvable. But what it’s never going to be, is a semi-narcissistic, philosophically trained, autistic introverts problem.
Because I did this exercise 10-years ago. I looked in the mirror and asked myself why am I a nightmare for? I wanted to know. And so, I got to the bottom of the problem. With myself. I then lifted myself out of my own condition. Someone had to show me the way, but I had to follow that path in order to achieve it. And in that process became unrecognisable from who I was to who I could have easily been instead today. Because I was willing to accept how flawed I was and really wanted things to change. To be a better person.
You need to be able to have that level of deep and uncomfortable introspection with yourself. Only from there can any sort of real positive change process begin.
But it all starts by saying, yip! It’s me. I’m the fucking problem. Because nothing is ever going to get better in your life, until you solve you first.
HE ACTS LIKE A TIGER BUT LOOKS LIKE A PIGGY: HE’S NOT ATTRACTIVE, HE’S OILY AND SLIMY [BUT IF YOU LIKE BACON, YOU MIGHT LOVE HIM]
The song that gives you a clue but doesn’t reveal who except to the person this is to…