PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE: BY THE DELIBERATE USE OF WORDS [CAPTURED AND SHARED]
“A narcissist has the symptoms and you have the disease.” – JIMMY CARR.
Psychological abuse is the deliberate use of words and non-physical actions to manipulate, weaken to distort, confuse or influence someones thoughts and actions. It is also referred to as emotional abuse. It can be hard to spot the signs of psychological abuse. People who perpetrate psychological abuse may behave differently in public and private. And victims may not understand that what they’re experiencing is abuse. Psychological abuse includes things like: humiliation. The abuse involves a pattern of manipulation and grooming designed to lure someone back (to a job?). It often starts with love bombing – as you will see beneath.
1 Before I started my work in clinical psychiatry, psychoanalysis and psychology, more important is why. Many people go into a field after having lived experienced. I once experienced workplace bullying and harassment. But, at that time, not having become a student of psychology, psychiatry and psychoanalysis, I was unable to identify what was happening to me, as many times these things happen ever so subtly. However, I’ve since become highly knowledgeable of the subject and I am now able to think and write from deep psychological perspectives to deconstruct the inner workings of how other people’s minds work. I have become fascinated by other people’s psychology, especially the psychology of people who are infatuated with themselves, consider themselves superior and grandiose.
In order to make sense of this and my motivation for being a student of such subjects, it’s vital to understand the source, how and why I’ve become interested in dark psychology. The reason is simple: some people are extremely manipulative and wish to use you. And unless you master the art of manipulation too, other people will take advantage of your kindness. Before it is too late, you must become semi-narcissistic in order to protect yourself, developing similar traits to know what goes on inside their heads to use it against them.
What you are about to read is the entire transcript of documented events, as I collect and keep absolutely everything that ever reaches my inbox as evidence to prove anybody wrong should I ever need to rely on it in court. This is an event that took place in my life where someone tried to set me up. Please enjoy the first course of how and why we got here.
“Well Paul. Was talking to (blank) and he said he’s doing work for you. See your posts on socials and hope you and the family are all good. Mate I would have a good guy like you back tomorrow, doing what you do best stores and driving. A lot more perks than last time, including a half day (important you get time). Drop me a message back, even just to keep in touch. Even if you fancy a coffee and a catch up.”
Then on the phone to my wife I said, “you’re not gonna believe this?” To which I shared with her what you have just read. Then she said, “that’s great news. I said, “seriously? Can you not remember why I had to leave that?” Well, she said, “maybe he feels bad for having done those things and wants to make amends. Maybe he’s sorry and this is his way of wanting to be friends again, offering help and support.” My wife wanted me to give him the benefit of the doubt. And if you’re out and about, you won’t be stuck in the office. I pondered this and considered an extremely difficult job I was doing at that time, even though this was not the progress I was expecting to arrive, but it couldn’t be worse than this. So I replied:
Speak to me lol a job? What have you on mate? Job I’m doing at the minute is too heavy and I literally handed in my notice last week finishing here with nothing else on so perfect timing. I’m interested.
“You free any day or time next week, we grab a coffee? It would be van and stores like the original role”
Yes mate that sounds great. I have nothing else on and was just about to start looking for something else again so you’ve actually just contacted me three days after telling them I’m going to rap up here. Perfect timing. I just done 7-days straight and I’m off Monday and Tuesday. But if you have something good to go there for me now, I’m really not enjoying my current role and was only doing it temporarily and I’m with the agency so if you have something I’ll meet you during the week any time that suits you. And I’ll give them a ring tomorrow and say something better has turned up and I have to go now.
“Mate what about we meet tomorrow, grab a coffee and get things sorted. After our chat I will speak with (company director’s name who operates in a different country) and hopefully get the go ahead for you to start on the Monday 4th.”
“Happy Days Derek.” His name is not Derek. I’m just calling him Derek. Because I used to know a guy called Derek Hazzard. And right now, this guy is trapped inside my hazard.
Sounds good. Just let me know time and place that suits and I’ll be there.
“1pm Starbucks Boucher?”
Nice one. See you then mate.
The idea of me being home early on Friday would be great given how early I’m leaving for work. It was 6.30am at the time. And how late I’m getting home in the evening. It was after 6pm. So the days were long and the work was hard. It was like doing a half marathon by 10:30am every morning. It was the hardest job I’ve ever done during a stressful time.
So anybody coming along with an offer would have always been something to consider. But I wasn’t for the idea. I turned my back on that place and I didn’t want to go back. But my wife, being as nice as she is, suggested maybe he’s changed, maybe he’s sorry for what he did, maybe he’s not like that anymore. My eyebrow raised while looking at her, thinking about it.
I am the kind of person, at least I always used to be as I’ve realised now it is a complete weakness, and I’m therefore no longer this way inclined. But I used to always give everyone the benefit of the doubt and always believed everyone deserves a second chance. If I’ve just met you and I have no idea who you are and you’re even coming to work in my home, I will, or at least I used to, trust people with the key to my house and let you come in to do work alone because I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are not a creepy rapist or pedophile. So I’ve probably been foolish to do that too. More on that point at a later time.
The point being: what I’ve come to learn through years of being too nice is that many people who aren’t nice see that as an opportunity to take advantage of your kindness. There’s only one way to get by and survive in this harsh and cruel animal environment. And that’s to also have a touch of narcissism in yourself. Even though you probably don’t want it to be this way. But you’re going to have to bring yourself down to some people’s level in order to match them where they are. And while being good is much better than being bad. You’re going to need to be bad during times when bad people make you have to call for it. In order to handle, tackle, and beat the beasts who aspire to beat you down and be bad towards you.
The meeting takes place several days later…
So I go to the meeting anyway. We have coffee. Sit together. The old boss. Lots of things are discussed. It’s a 30-minute meeting. He talks about the current problems with his staff, about the reason why they want me back in the office again. And the place would be so much better run with someone like me in there doing that. We had conversations about other new staff members, who I’ve never met. And I was even offered to offer how much I was looking to come back and do it for. And even then I didn’t propose a figure rather than just what’s generally expected as, you know, being home early on Fridays is something my wife’s pretty ecstatic about. He showed me a picture of his daughter. And I was telling him about everything that we’ve been getting up to as well. And he said about how the other guy who works in there is on the spectrum too. You’ll get along with him. Then he said:
I’ve been keeping an eye on everything you’ve been doing on socials, what happened mate? And I said, what do you mean, what happened? He says, some of that stuff you’re writing about, what’s happened? And I said, what do you mean, stuff I’m writing about?
The post that we’re about to get into soon is the post that he was referring to. I have to be honest. It was actually about people like him. But I couldn’t say, well, it’s about people like you. So I had to tell him the second truth, which was: somebody I know was going through a terrible time and I observed this from a distance and felt deeply inspired to write something from their perspective, which they couldn’t, and it was unfortunately the difficult thing that the person was going through and the perception of that person’s reality. And I seem to have cultivated this ability of extreme empathy where I am now able to write from another persons point of view, being able to see through the eyes of others, and almost able to feel their life experience as if it were my own. I’ve learned how to express the inside of other people’s minds in order to learn what it must be like to be them and have even gone as far as understanding why some people act and behave the strange ways they do.
“Oh right! We thought that was about you.”
No mate. I wrote that story about somebody else’s life. I’ve managed to be able to write from multiple perspectives. I mean, I’ve been doing this for 10-years now. I’ve got a wee bit good at it. I’m starting to get good at it, at least, I’m trying to anyway.
“Alright. Okay.”
Meeting adjourned.
And the follow up line was, he had to call the boss and see how they can get this other guy sacked to make room for me and give me his job. So I went home and thought, well, it sounds like that’s going ahead. I was already in the process of working towards other work. Hence why I was leaving the other place to give more focus to the intended place. So I was home working on that anyway. He said to give him at least two weeks. So I gave him two weeks. Then a job opportunity came my way, two weeks later. Then I actually felt a bit cat.
I didn’t want to do this to the guy again, because I already walked out on him before.
*It’s important that you remember this last point well and strongly ponder this fact: nobody ever just gets up and walks out of somebody’s life for no reason. To have got up and walked out of someone’s life, you need to have done something really bad for them to have done that. You also need to remember this point as it clarifies why much more makes sense later.
So, a couple of weeks go by, I’m at home working on other opportunities. Then, an opportunity arises. I haven’t heard from him yet. And so, I get in touch:
Hi Derek. He’ll probably hate that he’s getting called Derek. I’m getting offered work here. Since having our conversation I’m not sure what to do at the moment and I don’t want to dirty joe you. Is there any movement or update with that position you had? Thanks.
“Hey Paul, Delighted to hear you got an opportunity. (Company director’s name) has been off (don’t know if it’s holiday or sick) so I haven’t had any movement, yet. Mate, if you get offered work, take it and as soon as (Company directors name) is back and gives me the go ahead, which he will do, I will give you a shout and see where you’re at. Hopefully in the next few weeks.”
At this point of the conversation, my bullshit detector alarm starts sirening:
Nobody’s heard from him in a while?
I found that to be highly unusual.
How can you not know for two weeks where your boss is and whether he is off sick or not? He’s not a set of keys.
That seems suspicious.
The boss operates out of a different country. So I immediately picked up the phone. And phoned the office in the other country and asked if I could speak with the boss. And the boss was speaking to me on the phone. I asked outright: you don’t happen to be off are you?
No.
And you are (company director)?
I am.
And you have been in work for the past two weeks?
I have indeed.
Thank you.
Hung up the phone.
I recorded the audio of this conversation on my phone using an iPad. Then I immediately sent the audio conversation underneath the last thing he said to me above.
He replied:
👍
Oh dear!
DID YOU KNOW?
It can be illegal to offer someone a job that doesn’t exist, particularly when it involves deceptive practices or fraud?
Let’s pause here for a moment now just to reflect and actually break this down in sequential step-by-step actions. You have to think about the chronology of what took place here. A man gets in touch with me after years of not a dicky bird with a job opportunity, with very flexible terms and better comfortable perks. To which I found it, at least my wife did more, hard to refuse and to go and have a chat about it. To find out what’s the deal here with all this now.
That’s got a name. And it’s called love bombing.
To then be told what I’ve just shared with you. That’s why I always wear a microphone. So anything you do say may be given as evidence and you may need to later rely on it in court.
I didn’t think it was fair to press legal charges against the company as the director had no idea about any of this whatsoever. And ruining his company’s reputation was not what I wanted to do as this wasn’t his fault. He had no awareness or knowledge of it. It was only when I brought everything you’ve just read to his attention did he hear of it for the first time.
The terms of which were to sack a current employee and replace him with me.
If I was the company CEO and ever found out that any of my delegates were doing these kinds of things behind my back, they would be immediately sacked for gross misconduct. In this case, deceptive practices. Offering people jobs that don’t exist is 100% illegal. And also making an insincere, formal offer that causes the applicant to suffer financial loss or exchange personal data can lead to legal liability, and who they also assume has a neurodevelopment disorder. That’s 4 criminal charges at least.
The reason why I didn’t press further on this matter was because I have deeply distressing content in my hard drives of things that were shared in their Whatsapp group, which extremely stupidly, this manager named after the company he works for.
I didn’t think it was fair that a poor manager’s actions should tarnish the company’s brand and ruin their employer’s reputation. So out of respect to his boss, I accepted there would be words had regarding the treatment of employees and communication style of the workplace misrepresenting the company’s views by eliminating misogyny and chauvinism during work.
The reason why I feel compelled to tell you this now, first, is because we’ve come full circle here. And now that I’ve given you a little glimpse into something that took place in my life, which you had no awareness of nor idea about, my hope is now you’ll understand why I’ve felt motivated to move into psychology and psychiatry. Because I have lived experience.
There will be a story I wrote from another person’s perspective. But it seemed to ruffle a few feathers the wrong way. Why? Because deep down, a narcissist’s biggest fear is that they’re about to be exposed for who they really are. Well, you shouldn’t treat other people this way. That way, I wouldn’t be able to have such stories to tell and reason to learn these subjects.
But why should I keep an experience to myself? If I feel it’s time to express it then I will. And this is all to form a part of my work in how to identify and eliminate the toxic types in your life who try their best to hold you back. This was one of those moments for me, or months back when it was taking place. Therefore I needed to share this first so you would understand the importance for why I’m going after and attacking narcissists. They are the worst kind of person with the most dangerous personality on the planet. If there is anything we must learn and study in the form of people more than anyone else, it’s the deadly toxic narcissist.
My goal is to not only inform you of them, but to teach you how to control them, the same way they love to try and control you, the way he did. This is about taking your disadvantages and turning them into skillful advantages. If there is one thing narcissists fear it’s being exposed, found out, the truth. They hate the truth. They are also afraid of being found out as being far too normal and deeply ordinary. Which in the case of this person who done this to me, he is more than less than ordinary. He is weak, pathetic and ran away, literally with his tail between the legs. A man-size kitten, pretending to be a tiger. Hence why this meeting was called, for I do not like this picture you are painting, and I sure hope it’s not about me. Yet, paradoxically, it was.
And so, the reason why I need to tell you this story is so you know and understand when I’m talking about narcissism I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about him. And given the nature of this account of everything I’ve said here, with evidence, how can you not be fascinated by how much of a life someone doesn’t have.
Would you ever have time to do that to someone?
“This is what happens when you hurry through a maze: the faster you go, the worse you are entangled.” – SENECA.
You forgot to mention that I’m also best at clinical psychiatry now too. I took it upon myself to learn everything about people, their personalities and minds, so I can express better ideas in my work. Usually you find that with people who have lived experience, in my case, being bullied, laughed at, mocked, trolled, called brain damage, or schizophrenic, all for having ADHD and autism. Many decided to go into the field to help others after that.